EJ Padero dot Com: Volume 2 » Humor

God Can See You!

E.J. — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 10:42:37 +0000

Here’s a flyer I found in our mailbox today. It says:

Strictly massage only! God can see you!

‘Nuff said. Photo below:

Click to embiggen

Bawal Umihi Dito

E.J. — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 07:33:07 +0000

“Bawal Umihi Dito” – Isang kasabihang hindi mawawala at kung saan-saan makikita sa buong Pilipinas.

Halina’t ipakita ang iba’t ibang dako ng ating bansa kung saan nakapaskil ang hindi makakalimutang, “Bawal Umihi Dito!“

Post your photos directly to http://bawalumihidito.posterous.com/

Submit your contributions by following these easy steps:

Type the title of your photo in the subject line
In message body, type:

Your name
The location where the photo was taken
The date you took the photo (if you like)
“Bawal Umihi Dito” at the end (don’t forget!)

Don’t forget to attach your photo!
Send your email to post (at) bawalumihidito (dot) posterous (dot) com

The website administrator reserves the right to moderate your submissions.

Ownership of and rights to the photos posted here are retained by their respective photographers and are the responsibility of the person who submitted them.

C++ Should Have Been Called “B”

E.J. — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:17:30 +0000

I haven’t done any C++ programming in ages. Yet, here I am on the ‘puter in the wee hours of the night. I work on it. I also unwind on it (usually). Sometimes I itch for my next fix to sit at it to do something, anything. Other times I just want to break free from it and not have to touch its peripherals again.

In reference to my mother’s elder cousins’ old (text)books of Dick and Jane I used to find on our bookshelves while growing up,

See Spot run!
Run Spot run!
Why is Spot running?
Did he spot something?

In the computing/information age, the above may translate (transpose?) to something similar to the following;

C program run! C program crash! C programmer (Q)uit!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer swear! C programmer quit!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer cry?
C program run. C program crash. C programmer throw up.
C program run… Run, program, run… PLEASE…

All of which, can be graphically summed up below:

One does not have to be programming in C language to appreciate the animation.

“Have a carrot,” said the mother bunny.

Oh “Mikey”, you’re so fine…

E.J. — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:14:59 +0000

…you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mikey! Hey Mikey!

At Rustan's Supermarket on Katipunan Avenue

I cannot say for sure if the above left photo really is Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s son, Congressman Juan Miguel “Mikey” Arroyo, allegedly browsing the booze / hard liquor section of Rustan’s Supermarket on Katipunan Avenue, as Typhoon Ondoy/Ketsana raged on (which submerged Metro Manila in 410mm rainfall – a month’s worth in just 12 hours!). The image is blurry and inconclusive. Mikey has publicly denied it is him (see Mikey’s statement on Tumblr).

However, on the right, we are definite that that’s me and my son earlier tonight (photo taken by my lovely wife). We were shopping for Marie (TM) soft biscuits for him to munch on. He is teething – like any 8-month-old baby should be.

Note that there is a difference in camera angle between the two photos.

Suggest a Line for Johann

E.J. — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 21:37:24 +0000

At North Park Noodles, where we lay our scene…

While ordering Chinoy comfort food

Related link:
North Park Noodles [Official Website]

My Parents Sent Some Pot via International Door-to-Door Delivery

E.J. — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 05:46:38 +0000

Some (antique) pot was included in the box that arrived the other day. It was a bit stale though:

Got pot? Click for full size.

Smoking What?

E.J. — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 11:00:00 +0000

Apparently, there exist toasted, breadstick-shaped biscuits called “Smoking Titi Baboy”. They are around three inches long, fat, and corkscrew-like. I am told that the shape is inspired by a pig’s wiener, hence the name. The pack I saw was made/sold by the New Ilaya Bakery in Pagsanjan, Laguna.

Photo after the jump.

Smoking Titi Baboy. Click to zoom.

Express Yourself in Acronyms, The Military Way

E.J. — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 04:48:50 +0000

Lately, I’ve been SNAFU-ing and FUBAR-ing in my online posts and comments more than usual – aside from using my favorite 1337 h4×0r (that’s “leet haxor” to you non-g33ks) speak terms, like “pwn3d” (owned).

Below is a compiled list for your reference, for when they will suit you the most. Hooah!

* * *

AMF-YOYO – Adios Mother Fucker, You’re On Your Own
BOHIC – Bend Over Here It Comes
BOHICA – Bend Over Here It Comes Again
Charlie Foxtrot – From the phonetic alphabet letters C & F, meaning Cluster Fuck
DILLIGAF – Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck
DILLIGAFF – Do I Look Like I Give A Flying Fuck
DILLIGAS – Do I Look Like I Give A Shit
FIDO – Fuck It! Drive On!
FIFI – Fuck It! Fly It!
FIGMO – Fuck It, I Got My Orders – Viet Nam 1968
FISHDO – Fuck It, Shit Happens – Drive On
FNG – Fucking New Guy (used for all new people in a squad.)
FUBAB – Fucked Up Beyond All Belief
FUBAR – Fucked Up Beyond All Repair/Recognition/Reason
FUBB – Fucked Up Beyond Belief
FUBIJAR – Fuck You Bitch, I’m Just a Reservist (US Army Reserve)
FUBISO – Fuck You Buddy, I’m Shipping Out
FUJIGMO – Fuck You Jack, I Got My Orders
FUMTU – Fucked Up More Than Usual
FUUSAB – Fucked Up Until Space And Beyond
JAFO – Just Another Fucking Observer (guy who sits in the back of the vehicle)
JANFU – Joint Army-Navy Fuck Up
KMACYOYO – Kiss My Ass Colonel, You’re On Your Own
LLMF – Lost Like a Mother Fucker
SNAFU – Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
SNAFUBAR – Situation Normal: All Fucked Up Beyond All Repair / Recognition / Reason
SOL – Shit Out of Luck
SRDH – Shit Rolls Down Hill
SSDD – Same Shit, Different Day
SUSFU – Situation Unchanged, Still Fucked Up
TARFU – Things Are Really Fucked Up, or Totally and Royally Fucked Up
TAUFU – Totally And Utterly Fucked Up

* * *

Sucking Does Not Kill

E.J. — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:29:05 +0000

For Czar, who has recently quit smoking, after a nasty bout of asthma; and others like him who have stopped this very unhealthy habit:

Chupa Chups Relax is a candy treat with a sophisticated taste and is a fun & tasty alternative to smoking.

Chupa Chups Relax

Chupa Chups Relax – 6 mini lollipops in citrus or strawberry flavor come in a flip top box and is available at Shell Select. Thanks to my sister Tricie for spotting this.

Related links:
Czar’s Quit Note [Facebook]
Chupa Chups 2009 [Official Website]

For Used Diapers Only

E.J. — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:12:45 +0000

Here’s a photo for all my fellow new fathers out there, a belated Happy Father’s Day!

Brought to you by the Umbrella Corporation and ejpadero.com. Click thumbnail to view in full size.

Today, my sweet, wonderful, loving, smart, and beautiful wife celebrate our wedding anniversary. Well, maybe the “smart” bit is debatable because she married me. All in all, it’s been a great year I would not mind repeating.

Also, yesterday was my dad’s 61st birthday. Inshallah, his cancer has been kept in check since being diagnosed two years ago (sans one kidney) – no new growths. Yay.