Yesterday morning’s sandwich was not a sammich without lettuce.
Out of lettuce? Lettuce go to the store and get some!
A sammich is a type of sandwich. However, it is not just any kind of sandwich. Any old schmuck can throw lunchmeat between two slices of bread and have a sandwich.
But no. A sammich is not just a sandwich, it is not just a meal. Sammich is a term reserved for only the holiest and mightiest of all sandwiches. A sammich is a true work of culinary art; a feast on a bun, if you will. A sammich is not made of the best ingredients; it is made of the *right* ingredients. It needs the right meats, and the right cheese(s), the right sauce, the right veggies, and the right kind of bread.
Taking footlong sub bread and throwing every kind of meat and cheese and everything else under the sun or in your kitchen pantry on it does not a sammich make. It is akin to an incohesive mishmosh of colors on an artist’s easel.
Sandwiches make a good snack, but sammiches are forever.
Is everyone in this future fucking retarded?
Scotty: Are you from the future?
James T. Kirk: Yeah, he is. I’m not.
Scotty: Well, that’s brilliant. Do they still have sandwiches there?
– Star Trek (2009 film)